One Final Drop of Bitterness before Moving Forward

Let me just share one final drop of bitterness and hatred before I finally move on.

Yesterday was the promotions board. As I already expected, I would be delayed because of Biochem. It was my waterloo this first year, considering how I got grades of 80 and above in all my other subjects and how I would have maintained my scholarship when these grades, including my 71 in Biochemistry, were computed. Yes, I would have a GWA of 2.25 (I think; I'm not exactly sure) or approximately 81-82 average.

Like what a dear professor/friend told me when I thanked her for her support, she felt na sayang talaga yung iba kong grades, considering that they were quite good which shows that I could actually manage Medical School amidst all the stresses, the extra-curriculars (Org work, Student Council), and Issues (the cheating issue that is related to Biochem).

Yes, I believe I can actually do it. My only flaw was probably my 4th shifting and Final exam in Biochem. I can humbly say that I did have a really difficult time with those two exams. I studied hard, like everyone does, but I guess I did not do enough. I still thank God for the grace He has given me in allowing me to achieve awesome grades in the other subjects, most especially for Anatomy and Physiology. 

Where does the bitterness come in, then? The biochem issue. The cheating issue. There are certain flaws to this, however, because most of what we have as evidence is HEARSAY. We, as a batch, do not have concrete, hard evidence; however what we do have is the irregularity in terms of the grades of these certain people and their performance in the said subject and in other subjects (So I've heard as well). I do not want to slam them anymore for being "undeserving" but passed the subject while I crawled and stumbled down but did not participate in this alleged "Cheating".

I can only hope that God who sees all and knows all would deal with them in His Own Way and His Own time. I can only pray for them and their future patients. Yes, it is so unfair, it so much unfair that I have to suffer but I did my best without any regrets while they supposedly simply hurr-durr'd around that subject and passed without any trouble. 

One can say that "it's their privilege for being there" (won't speak about it here), but come on, where is your Integrity? I would really, really, REALLY love to guilt-trip them but I guess I'd rather be the bigger man.  Pero remember this: Gusto mo ko lampasuhin sa lahat? Tss, Lumaban ka ng patas. Pero yun nga lang, lugi ka na saken, sa grades pa lang (yes including biochem, kahit may mahika kang panglamang. Oops)

My parents are right; I do have to learn some tricks and trades in this politically-motivated and unfair world we live in. Though, one thing I do not agree with them is that I have my own way, and I prefer my own tricks and trades without sacrificing my name and my Integrity. Kumbaga, may simpleng yabang ako. 

To conclude, I'd just like to congratulate all those who deserved to be promoted :) and for those I mentioned in this post, I also congratulate you guys. I am honestly keeping myself free from hatred and I'm praying for these certain group of people. 

Sana wag niyo na ulitin ito, para sa kapakanan din ito ng future patients ninyo at para din sa mga pangalan niyo.. And yes, feel free to approach me anytime, I don't bite because I'd prefer to treat everyone as a good friend, yung tipong walang plastikan.

God is mysterious, indeed. But God is Good, all the time. Always.
Congratulations Batch 2016! We are all one step closer to our dreams! 
KEEP THE FAITH! 

Just my 2 cents!

/no1!         

Pain

What is pain? Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional… But whatever pain doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.

Life is a bitch. It sometimes puts you on top of the world, and then suddenly pulls you way below Tartarus. And sometimes, most people never make it out alive, because they have given up. But more often than not, we survive, and the cycle continues.

In my whole stay during this first year of Medical School in PLM, I have been shattered to pieces twice. Not just shattered, in actuality; also crushed and turned to dust. But in these two moments, I have slowly rebuilt myself and tried to always learn something from the experience in order to grow.

It certainly is difficult to pick yourself up after a fall. The pain is there, the hurt is there, your pride splattered with mud, shame and whatnot. It is so difficult to focus on matters that matter most, and to go on with everyday life. You tend to shun the people you need the most. You tend to try to do a lot of things to keep your mind off the pain.

In the end, you realize that you are not alone. There are people around you who truly are your friends. These people do not care whether you would get mad at them for what they would say; but instead they are there for you. These people uplift your spirit in every single thing they do, and you cannot help but put on a smile.

Smile, they say, because they are always there for you no matter what. And then I realized that I am not alone. They are the reason why I keep reminding myself that:

Pain is inevitable, Suffering is optional; whatever pain doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.

Lone Wolf 

Just my 2 cents

/no1!

2013

Goodbye 2012 and Welcome 2013!

It has been a great 2012. Yes, obviously there were ups and downs, as normally would happen in life. But hey, never forget to count your blessings ALWAYS. Life itself is already a huge blessing!

Some highlights of my year 2012:

• Graduation! Bio 2012, you homies would forever be part of my life.
• PLM-CM! That day when I learned I wasn't a first lister.. Yeah, it sucked real bad. I was down for quite some time. But it was a good lesson for me; sometimes you fall but you gotta stand up. You can't always go on being up there, you gotta experience some failures to learn to live life to the fullest.
• Like Dr. Wayne told Bruce: "Why do we fall? So we can learn to PICK OURSELVES UP" 

•  PLM-CM! Again, when I got accepted! Thank the Lord for his wonderful blessings. And because I was accepted to PLM, I met..
• PLM-CM 1D 2016. Yeap, my section. New classmates, but quickly we evolved into a family. Glad to have met these people as well. Forever grateful to them for truly we all got each others' backs. Without them, Medicine Life would have been kind of boring
• And of course, could I ever forget the alamat boys? Yeap, we're that awesome. And the DotA boys of course! 
• Obviously, special mention din dapat ang mga magagadang girls ng 1D. Oh yeah!

• NALCA Trading as I see it had a great year, thanks to the hard work and efforts of my parents. Inspiration, indeed, for me to persevere in Medicine (Cheesy I know but what the heck, that's the truth yo)
• My brods and sisses (MARSF/MUSSS). Never regretted my decision. Glad to be part of this awesome family as well. Another big reason why Med Life ain't boring or difficult or hell
• Special mention goes to my Batchmates! Love you Ladies. Yeah, I'm a sole thorn among a group of roses, but never felt pushed aside. Glad to be part of their 2012 as well :)

• Rest in Peace, Lola Lucy, you'll always be remembered :)
• Football! I finally got to play Football after quite a while. Glad to be part of PLM-CM's Men's Football team. We got a match this Jan. 12-13, so prepping up through workouts.. :))

I guess that's about it. Actually I probably have more to add, but obviously I'm kind of high at the moment, had lots to drink with my Dad. Oh yeah, that's one thing to add pala, its really cool to drink with your dad. True story!

Anyway, here's to an awesome 2013 for everyone! Stay safe and enjoy! Positive outlook for the future, yo!

/no1!; 
PS. To you, for the opportunity to get to know you. :) Glad that happened. True that I have feelings for you; and yes they are sincere. You and you alone :) 

PLM-CM 1D 2016

So, after a boring DotA game vs. bots wherein my team lost because of noob bots, here I am again. I don't even have a title for this post... yet.

Hmm, I might just watch a movie before hitting the sack. The problem is, I do not know what to watch. Can't believe the start of the break is actually this boring when I should actually be looking forward to it... And yes, it is a mystery as to why it is this way.

Most probably because I felt bitin sa Christmas Party ng 1D! Seriously we should have actually gotten a better deal than Max's =)) haha! But hey, the point here is that that is how awesome the party went -- bitin ka and you're longing for more!

These folks I met in Med school are the ones I am going to spend the rest of my professional life with. Yes, I know, every 4-5 years we all post about meeting new people and saying that they're your best buddies, blahblahblah. There are lots of folks I cherish, namely Bio 2012, Kinse and of course, 1D.

I guess it's because friendship is weird. But you know, at this age, after many friendships built and destroyed along the way, you tend to actually cherish every person you meet as you grow. Obviously, as an adult, you begin to realize that friendship isn't just about fun and games and everything we thought of when we were kids. 

Friendship isn't about the material stuff. Friendship isn't even about just meeting new people and hanging out with them. After two decades on Earth you'd realize that it is actually more than that, though I admit that I probably have to spend more decades before finally realizing the true meaning of friendship. 

You can't tell me that, after 21 years, I should actually know this true meaning already. What is this true meaning you speak of, then? 21 years isn't enough.. Friendships surpass the boundaries of time and survive the trials of hell. YES, we are already at an age where we are already adults, but reckless ones. Admit it folks! 

Though pretty soon, when we all get married and settled down, we'll all have another point of view on friendship... And then as we grow old and near our deaths, a new point of view would arise. Life is weird, isn't it? Every single day it gives you different experiences. In the end, when you look back, you'd be thanking life for being a bitch most of the time.

And so yes indeed, 1D 2016, you guys rock. Whatever happens we all should stick together, stay strong. You see, trials will come and test us all. I believe we are all mature enough to actually stay sane and hold our heads up high against these trials. 

Yo, seriously though, I miss you guys. Til Jan 2, 2013, then!

/no1

Write Stuff

It's been a long while since I updated my blog. Anyway, I would not be ranting about anything politically related in this post! Let's just say this is more of a personal one. So, some small stuff first:

The start of the second semester has truly been eventful. I am thankful that my second shifting grades were quite good, and that at least I now have assurance that I can do it! Though, a problem is that the start of the third shifting is not really as good though, mejo I know I can do event better pa, so it means during this Christmas break I MUST indeed study well to prepare for the last 2 shiftings for my First Year. After this, summer break na! And then, second year na.. Second year in Medical School. For that I must do my best. Oh, wait, not only for myself but for everyone else. I promised to help those na mas nangangailangan pa saken, and I vow to fulfill that promise. Kapit tayo, mga kaibigan!

Oh yeah, I'm now a member of MARSF as well. I never regretted this decision of mine and will never do so. Proud to be part of a close knit family! Also, I'm damn proud of my batchmates. Haha! These sisters of mine never fail to make me smile everyday :) Mahal ko kayo batchmates! 

Moving on..

I like poetry. Oh, and whenever creativity hits me with a power over 9000, I write, be it a poem or a blog entry. My poetry is reserved for a special someone. Because I am not as artistic as most of my friends, I guess poetry is my way of expressing, like drawing is to an artist. I never really just pick out the words to rhyme; what happens is they just hit me in the head and I keep repeating it to myself until I find some pen and paper to write them down.

I guess most people think that poetry is easy to do so. Basta hanap ka lang ng nagrrhyme na words ok na yun. However, it is not that simple. In a stanza or two you gotta give the gist of what you really mean. Poetry is special, in a way that it somehow never really seems to talk "clearly" but when you read it carefully, you get the message in a flash. 

I admit; it is actually difficult. Sometimes, when I write a poem, I think it is already quite good, but after re-reading it, I tear the paper to pieces and start anew. :| yeah I know, perfectionist? I am not really a perfectionist but of course I do my best job in everything I do. Di naman kasi pwede basta-basta ka lang magsusulat, di ba? But hey, the reward comes when one simple poem can actually change the course of things. I don't know, it has happened before to me. It is weird, yes, but kinda cool, actually.

For now, I'll leave y'all with a line. This is my next work, I guess. Still building from scratch..

"The morning sun greeted me; I awoke with a start

I dreamed of you, and longing ached my heart"

Haha. Emo? Nope. Di pa nga tapos di ba? haha!

Just my 2 cents!

/no1